Breaking up with your partner is always a difficult situation, no matter how gentle and understanding you try to be. It packs a difficult emotional punch both to the sender and the receiver. To take pressure off of the conversation, many people opt to break up over text message. But how can you communicate the news of a break-up in a gentle way, while still being honest and clear? Here are some tips for writing the perfect break-up text message that will ensure you leave a relationship the right way:
- Start By Being Respectful
When breaking up with someone via text, the most important thing to keep in mind is respect. Though the conversation may be difficult and painful, it is absolutely necessary to make sure that whatever words you choose to use are respectful and non-combative. Any insults or personal attacks will only lead to a deeper wedge being driven between the two of you, and will make the already tough situation worse.
- Avoid Being Vague
When breaking up with somebody over text, the temptation is to be vague in order to cushion the blow. Though this may work in the short-term, it rarely works in the long term. Vagueness creates confusion and will only complicate matters further. Be clear in your communication, and explain your decision as best as you can.
- Use Compassion
When sending a break-up text, it’s important to emphasize that you’re compassionate and understanding. Emotions are delicate and raw, so it’s important to make sure that your words are chosen carefully. Show that you care about your partner, and let them know that you’re still available to talk and be of support if needed.
- Explain Your Reasoning
When ending a relationship, it’s important to explain your reasoning to the other party. This doesn’t need to be a blow by blow account, but a general idea of the conflict may be beneficial for both parties in the long run. This can help your partner to grow, and will also offer closure so that the two of you can both move on.
- End On a Positive Note
No matter what caused the break-up, it’s always important to end on a positive note. Reiterate that you care about your partner, and express your appreciation for the time that you spent together. Note any happy memories you both shared, and keep your heart open.
Examples of Break-Up Text Messages
Though the actual break-up will always depend on your individual circumstances, the following examples may be of use as a starting point. Remember to always customize the message to fit your situation:
• “I appreciate our time together, and I’m grateful for all the memories we’ve shared. However, I feel that it’s time to go our separate ways. I wish you all the best.”
• “I think that it’s better for the both of us if we part ways. I’m sorry for any hurt that this may cause, but I hope that you can find peace and happiness down the road.”
• “After much thought and consideration, I feel that it is best to move on from this relationship. This is not a decision I take lightly, and I wish nothing but the best for you.”
• “I care about you, and I want you to know that this decision is not taken lightly. I care about you too much to remain in a relationship that is not right for either of us.”
• “I want to thank you for all that you’ve brought to my life. It’s time to move on and pursue different interests, and I wish you all the best in the future.”
• “Though this might be hard to accept, I feel like this is the best decision for both of us. I’m sorry for any hurt that this might cause, but I wish you the best down the road.”
Best Practices for Sending a Break-up Text
When breaking up over text, there are a few basic ground rules to remember in order to ensure the conversation goes as smoothly as possible. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
• Avoid writing when drunk or angry. Thoughts will be cloudy and mishaps can occur, leading to hurt feelings.
• Include some form of closure. Without closure, the break-up is not complete, nor is it a respectful solution to the problem.
• Reassure them. Let them know that they can still contact you if they need help. Reassuring them that they’re not alone is important, especially when they’re feeling a sense of loss.
• Make sure that your message is clear. Avoid being overly vague, as this will only create further confusion and distress.
• Stay civil and polite. Though the breakup is unavoidable, it’s important to stay civil and polite. Maintaining a level of respect is important to both parties.
• Offer to meet in person. It’s important to offer to meet in person to talk things through, should the other party wish to do so. This will show that you’re taking the situation seriously, and that you care enough to make an effort.
• Follow up with a phone call. A text message can never truly convey the message that you wish to send. Following up with a phone call (or one last meeting) can help to provide clarity and offer closure to the situation.
Breaking up with somebody over text is often seen as a cowardly way out of a relationship, but it is actually a very powerful tool for those who are unsure of how to break the news in person. When done the right way, a break-up message can show genuine care, understanding and acceptance. By showing empathy and being understanding, a text message can be a great tool for helping both parties to process the situation and move on.
